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Wonder if everyone is afraid to be lonely? Now I feel really lonely….never have this type of feeling before in my life…

Recently were occupied with work. Work from Mon-Sat …Sat after work continue with my class till 7pm..Sunday use to go out de-stress..busy life huh? Guess the is the best way for me to avoid thinking too much…

Finally I met up with my friend today. She used to have problem in her previous relationship..after ended up the relationship..I can see her feel happy.I can she her beautiful smile watever I talk to her. I’m truly happy for her…

Me alone..doesnt where should I go..kinda lost. Wish to finish my class asap so that I could work through for my dreams.

As for him…he migrated to oversea last month..still working on what he had wish for..all the best to you..

27 August 2007, Monday.

Just started my new job recently.Totally different line with the previous job. As a marketing co-ordinator now. Handle advertising, editing, marketing, event and as personal assistant as well. Well, everything is change.

New life, new job, new line,new environment, new colleagues, new thinking and new definition… first day was started on 20 August 2007, there goes I joined a new fitness and start on the same day 20 August.There goes i started to think differently on the same day as I was so frust on the day before.

This new job was kinda tired…once I get in the company, my supervisor met me on my first day and that night she gave birth and I was all alone doing job without training and  guidance at all. Feeling so lost and blur and worst part is I need to handle ACCOUNTS! That will be the last thing I will ever do in my whole life. More than 5 years never touch account!!

Stressful day…and almost every evening after working hours I continue working out in gym. Feeling tired yet it may be the best way for me to forget everything. Whole body arching the whole week since I stopped going to gym for more than 6 months. Everything started from beginning…yeah..no pain no gain, that is what I learnt.

Gambate Elaine…knew that you can do it. Stay cool!

Reached KL on 27 July, Friday around 6pm. Unpack my stuff and went to his house to visit boy and gal. Gal is a new puppy which just came into their house which is only 5 weeks old. Went dinner together.

Saturday morning, went interview at Sunway Damansara.After interview, rush to class at BTS. After class rush back home and went dinner with him before join Dina and others in Sanctuary club.

Knew him for so long, that is the first time went clubbing with him, probably is the first and the last as well. Celebrating Emily’s birthday as well. Played a lot of games and I lose most of the games and I’ve be fine to drink non-stop.Having fun…reached home at 3am and drop death.

Sunday morning woke up early and went warehouse sale. Then went to Curve Red Box to eat but not sing…haha..i only sang half of the song only. Went shopping around and went dinner.

Monday, woke up early morning as well. Heavy rain but still need to rush to Wella for Hair-do model. Chris cut my hair and I love the hair style a lot. Went lunch with Stella and others.

Continuously woke up early morning and slept late night for few days…I need a break…but still kinda happy with the lifestyle now. Better enjoy before I start my job.

Yeah, at last I’m free from working life…but it just for temporary only. Went back to Johor and have a great time with families and friends.

Went Melacca for few days holiday. Drive all the way to Melacca and visit to nice place. Although not familiar with the road there but just drive only. Went Jonker Street and grab a lot of nice stuffs. Raining cats and dogs in Melacca and end up we walk under the rain.

Live band in Jonker Street were great.Still planning another few vacation..probably to Penang, Bali of Bangkok before I start a new job.

2nd July 2007, Kinda lazy to wake up in the morning and drag myself to office. Reached office and get to my desk and do my work till about 11am, my supervisor handed me my pay slip.After I signed my name for the pay slip, got my letter and walked to her desk.

Yes…at last I tender my resignation letter. She doesn’t seem surprise and will just tell me that she will hand it to division manager. Get back to my desk and the feeling is kinda weird due to I was into dilemma whether to leave or stay. At last I had made my decision and I won’t regret leaving this company. Gotta prepare what to talk to my manager division as I knew I’ll been call to his office soon.

I stayed in office and do my work till late night. Most of my colleagues left one by one and end up the whole building only left me and Eric(other department). Sitting at my work desk and stared outside the beautiful scenery for quite long…I feel sad to leave…sad to leave my colleagues…and probably there is still other reason.

Reached home kinda late and he came to look for me. Asked me out for yumcha but I rejected since I’m so tired. Stay home watch movie. He thought of bringing me out to nearby park which where Micco is buried. Not going since the park is so dark and was very dangerous to go at this hour.Promised will go with him tomorrow as 3th July is Micco’s birthday.

Its 12am now…Happy Birthday to my beloved mummy and Micco. How I wish I’m in Johor now so that I could celebrate my mum’s birthday…and how I wish Micco is still with me.

At last…I’m free to go for a long vacation and its time for me to………leave Malaysia.

Got a news from HR department. I was invited to company trip on 31st August 2007…this year they are going to Ria Bintan Club Med at the East of Singapore for 3 days 2 nights.If confirm going, needed to submit my passport details to them by this coming Friday.

Sigh…was thinking for the whole night…since I’m going to leave and I do not wish to drag my time staying in that company anymore. Couldn’t make up my mind. Fall asleep and the next day just grab my passport and bring it to office.

Reached office, Ms. T asked me whether am I joining them to the trip for holidays? Just smile and her and informed will let her know by lunch time.End up I had make up my mind not to go. Knew that is a waste but still I’ll stick to my own decision

I need a break…can we just have another party?

Special thanks to Cal Cal- who accompany me (phone) last Friday when I was driving back from office toward The Curve. I had a bad day…while talking to her…tears roll down my cheek.

Special thanks to Ailee & Tiff, thanks for accompany me the whole night(last Friday). I did enjoy the dinner and the chit chat session at the cafe although the live band is too loud and I hardly hear what you guys said. You guys must be surprised to see me in that situation. I never into this depressed in my whole life.Promise you guy I won’t do that again.

After Friday night, I started to have fever and throat infection. Sunday morning thought of going breakfast at Ikea, end up we went back to SS3 for breakfast and gone back to Ikea for shopping. After back from Ikea, they taught me how to play mahjong.

After play for few rounds, went to room and sleep. After took medicine very sleepy…and I slept continuously 6 hours till dinner is ready.

Monday, went office…can’t even stand still(whole body muscle and nerve aching) After working hour went back at 9pm, went to clinic, fever 38.7 c & others.

Were on mc on Tuesday and Wednesday. Not fully recover and I  go back to work on Thursday. Not that I don’t wan to rest at home, is just that my work will be piling every each day.

Sorry Cal, I can’t go to Zouk with you for the Bachelor night this Friday due to I’m still sick.Sigh..wasted the pass…I really wish to go >.< Look forward for 2 days trip next week.

Recently, my department really lack of manpower. Life become very busy even Friday which used to be a relax day but recently doesn’t seems like one. Recently love to listen to slow jazz or blues to calm my emotions as my tamper not that good recently.

Noticed I had been very quiet and don’t really mix around since Calista left. Sigh…I just feel lonely and listen to Michael Bubble, Norah Jones and Diana Krall songs almost everyday.

Last Friday, thought of going back at 5.30pm. Outside raining cats and dogs, so I stayed in office to clear my work. Till received a phone call from housemate asking me out for dinner. As I knew through the phone, he just broke up with his gf.

Go back straight to house, shower and went dinner with him. Since I already had my dinner at office so I just sat there and listen to him. Sigh, relationship seems to be very fragile when there is lost of tolerate, respects and trust. Same to what had happen to my previous relationship.

After dinner, went yumcha with KS. He thought of bought me to Alexis Cafe for Jazz performance but due to some reason end up we went to Wow Wow Cafe at Plaza Damas. He bought me to Malaysia biggest court which is brand new(nearby damansara I guess). In the car, listen to Norah Jones till I almost fall asleep, not that its boring, just that I’m too tired and had not enough sleep.

KS, thanks for being there for me whenever I need someone, thanks for sharing and I did appreciate it so much.

Its almost a week didn’t do blogging here. Last Saturday, I started my first class. Class were interesting and I did learn a lot of new stuff. Sunday, Easter day- Grace and family fetch me to Wangsa Maju Jusco. Miss that area so much, think of last time when I’m still student. Life is about study, shopping and hang out all night long!

After shopping in Jusco, went on of the restaurant in Melawati celebrate Easter day. Food are nice and price a bit high….after everything, went home and sleep.

Monday on MC and till now I’m still sick! Alot of stupid emails to solves and I’m sick of it! Lack of manpower and sick of everything!

Just don’t feel like anything but travel! Here I come Langkawi!

6 April 2007 , Friday

Feel moody since woke up. Struggle to wake up in the morning and feel lazy to go bath end up drag till 8am only bath =(

Its Friday and I supposed to be happy! Casual wear for Friday and not that busy for my work but yet I still feel moody. Sigh, today is Calista last day in company. Seems a lot of people leaving me one by one every each day.

No even have energy to drive to work and even almost bang the car in front of me. Sigh~~in office, got a news that one of the fella is resigning as well. What happen to this company huh? Same to me but don’t know when only.

Cal~~, I’ll be missing you always. From Monday onwards, no one to share my sadness in office anymore.No one to gossip with me and no one to cheer me up already =(

All the best in everything Cal! Don’t forget what have you promise me wor! I really enjoy just now dinner !